Our family’s been quite free of crime,
there’s been none of our lot doing time,
till my cousin, young Tom, he’s a clot,
on our copy book left quite a blot.
He went down to the library one day,
got a book out and took it away,
made a start on the crime he had planned,
bought some Tippex and steadied his hand.
He went through all the lines on each page,
with determined and furious rage,
and he Tippexed out every full stop,
working up from the base to the top.
He took the book back the next day,
But the library assistant said, ‘Hey,
you’ve defaced every page in this book!’ -
and she called her boss over to look.
And soon a policeman was called,
and off to the nick Tom was hauled.
That was Tuesday - and Tuesday next week
he’ll be pleading his case to the beak.
His defence doesn’t seem very strong,
defacing a book, it’s just wrong -
and if you remove the full stops . . .
. . . well, you can expect to get a very long sentence!
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