Driving

Working as I do for a funeral director, I find I do quite a lot of driving, one way or another. I do even more washing of cars, it has to be said!  But before today I had never been entrusted with driving the hearse to a funeral.  Yesterday I was told I would be, and I made sure I sorted myself a cap and gloves to fit, so that I should be properly attired.  But being properly attired is not the same thing as being able to do the job, and I had a fairly restless night worrying about how I would get on.  The funeral was at Shrewsbury Crematorium, and I was especially worried about the approach to the entrance, and the pillars on either side of the car as I approached.  It's a big vehicle, after all, and (of course) rather an expensive piece of kit.

In the end, all went fairly well, and I think I did all right.  Having done it once, I can do it again.  But the first time for anything new is always rather scary, especially when you know that other people are depending on you to get it right.  Reflecting on that, it occurs to me that bravery and fearlessness are often thought of as synonyms, but really they are not.  People who are fearless are often also reckless, because they are not really living in the real world.  Fear, after all, is a very necessary part of that real world!  Without a healthy dollop of fear, we would be constantly placing ourselves in danger, all unawares.

Bravery does not entail an absence of fear;  bravery is about how we deal with fear.  It is about allowing our fears to advise us, but not paralyse us.  Fears need to be measured and assessed, of course.  There are fears that really are telling us, "Do not do that thing!" - but there are other fears, like my fears about today, that are to a large extent groundless, in that, while they may be saying to us, "Take care, don't lose your concentration," and that's important, they need also to be answered by a confident assertion that, even so, I know that I can do this and I should do this.

Even if, at the time of saying it, there are still a few butterflies flapping about inside me!