"That doesn't concern you!" I was told rather brusquely the other day, when I asked what I had thought was a perfectly valid question. To a degree it was true, as the conversation was about a matter that I had no direct involvement in. Perhaps, then, I was out of order to say anything, but I'd felt I might have a useful contribution to make to an issue that needed to move on a bit, and that would maybe benefit from a fresh perspective. And I still think that, as it happens; This wasn't any sort of bid for power on my part, I had no desire to wade in and take over, it was just that I hoped I might be of some help. So it hurt to be pushed back in the way I was; but at the same time I can understand that when there's a bit of a log-jam people involved can feel vulnerable, so that any intrusion, however well-meant, may come across as a threat.
So what does concern me, and what should concern me, I find myself asking; and how much of myself and my concerns am I prepared to reveal and open up to others. In all probability, there are times when I'm as closed to and resentful of others as others were towards me on this occasion. I can think of times, being honest with myself, when I've been the one to push people away and shut people up, especially when the things they might have said (if I'd allowed them to) would have challenged my own position. In other words, there have been times when my mantra has been "If it can't be done my way, then perhaps it shouldn't be done at all." This is a perspective which, in the end, can be highly damaging: the best good for the greatest number emerges not when it is done "my way", but when it is done the best way. And for that to happen, egos have to be set aside. Whoever we are and whatever status we may have, there needs to be a readiness to open up and listen, and a measure of humility, among all those concerned.
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