As a person of faith, it can sometimes be quite a challenge to put together appropriate words for a secular funeral ceremony. Sometimes I need to, though. While I think my own faith allows me to lead the ceremony in a sensitive and inclusive way, and I certainly would not want to use words that presume a faith that is not there in the family and friends who have gathered, and perhaps wasn't there, either, in the life of the person remembered, there are times when I wish I could say more than I do, not about the certainty of anything, but at least about the possibility.
In fact, for me the most difficult thing is not how to start the ceremony, nor the words to use as people reflect on the one to whom they're saying farewell, or as the curtains close around the catafalque (in any case, they may very well be using music at that point, so I don't need to say anything). It's how to close it, when at an overtly religious event I would be using words of blessing.
Anyway, here is a sort of secular blessing that I shall use at a ceremony this week :-
The challenge of our lives is to live vigorously and beautifully, to live with courage and care. At the end of a life we give respect and dignity to the one we mourn not only in our grieving and remembering but also in our commitment to live our lives to the fullest, for the best of all answers to death is that we continue to affirm life. So for us who go out from here, may the love of friends, the joy of memory and our hopes for the future give us strength and peace and blessing as we travel on.
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